Life...to the max!

Wednesdays w/ Wes: ...an honest war on words

        It’s time.

        Frankly, it’s overdue, with regard to time.

        I am declaring a “war” on certain words and phrases.

        This war within has been building for some time now.  I can “blame” it on a good, long time friend*** who, years back, got right in my face to challenge me on why do I even use those words/phrases.  

        His was an act of both courage and great caring for how I communicate.  I gave him permission to get in my face.  He obliged.  I am grateful to this moment in time for his serious, life-enhancing coaching, concern and care.  

        What are those words and phrases?

        Do not read further unless you are sincerely ready to change, for the better, your own ways of thinking, speaking, communicating.  This will not be easy.  But the journey to clearer communication, even in the most casual of conversations, right into the most serious and important conversation you may be having, those words have just gotta go.

        Yes!  Indeed…….!!!

        No doubt, you can add to this list.  I would welcome hearing about that from you at your convenience.  I will do my best to not use these in your presence, whether written or in person.  I ask, with care and honest concern for how you also communicate, that you take the challenge and learn to avoid them as well.

        Here we go…………………

        …kinda
           …sorta
              …shoulda
                 …woulda
                    …coulda
                       …gotta
                          …things
                             …and such
                                …stuff
                                   …OK?
                                      …right?

        I realize that every language in the universe does have it’s shorthanded way of communication.  Preciseness does have it’s proper place.  “Slangeuage” is fun to use from time to time when we are feeling relaxed and a bit goofy.  

        However, good men and women of the 21st Century, stellar leaders continually in the making, attention to your language, spoken and written, is crucial to healthy communication between you, and those you care about the most, as well as the stranger you may meet today in your town or an an airplane to somewhere.  You do want to be a clear communicator throughout your days, don’t you, whether in your work or having fun with family and/or friends?!?

        There is not a person I know (and all those I don’t know…) but what they need help with this.  Honestly, the need for help begins with me, too.  Therefore, when you hear me use any one of those words or phrases, check me on it.  Seriously.

        Please.  And thank you!

        With your permission, I will do the same for you.  When you and I are trying to communicate clearly, those are empty words that sincerely take us no where…as in nada nowhere…for our listeners or for ouselves.

        Or kinda said another way with this kind of stuff, when you and I are kinda trying to communicate some important stuff, we need to sorta realize that the sloppy things we say to others in any setting, when we coulda and shoulda been intentionally more clear (right?!!…) will help us communicate better, and such, to those with whom we are sorta sharing something life-enhancing that woulda made some difference if we had only been kinda more clear.

        Right?  OK?  Hey!  Wake up!!  I’m talking to you!!!  Don’t zone out on me when I’m kinda sharing some important thoughts with you to sorta encourage our friendship and work together, and such, on this planet where we coulda done, and can sorta yet do, better than we’ve done.  

        Right?  OK!

        By now I sorta hope you get the picture of this war on these words.  Ooooops!  Pardon me.  Big time.  I sincerely hope you do get the picture of this war on words.  

        My good friend***, who is still my good friend, cared enough to get right in my face, in front of others, to demand I tell him what I honestly meant by those words.  He didn’t just kinda get right in my face.

        I will be eternally grateful.  That grateful is not the kinda kind of grateful.  That being grateful, all these years later, still lingers as I write, speak and engage others in meaningful conversation.

        Therefore, when your own teasing me about this post settles down (which has me laughing outloud as I type…not just sorta laughing and sorta typing…), let’s be good enough friends to help each other communicate clearly.  Enough of the sloppiness, and such.  ;-)

        I believe you get what I’m proposing.  This is war.  For your benefit.  For mine.  For all those with whom we will communicate for the rest of our days.

        Got that?  Good.  In fact, excellent…….!!!

       *** That good friend is Ken Davis:  http://www.kendavis.com/  His Dynamic Communicators Workshops are significant for anyone who has the desire to improve in their communication skills, no matter the size of the crowd, 1 to 1, or you speaking before dozens to hundreds:  http://dynamiccommunicators.com/  

    Eternally, thank you, Ken, for getting in my face.  Your investment in me, and hundreds of others (more likely thousands than just hundreds…) has paid dividends that show up every day of my life.  Keep at it, my friend.  Thank you!!!  (74+115)

...we can't take threads for granted.......

        Last Saturday on our "conquering journey" of 9 Colorado passes, we went from warm, full sun, to bitter whipping cold.  Having the right gear, the right clothing was important as we made our wonderful "mad dash" across the Continental Divide four times...it was a very good day.

        My heart and mind do go to those in our cities who are facing the cold of winter without the right gear and clothing.  How do they do it?

        Too often they are huddled under makeshift tarps they've found...and throw away clothes gets layered on.  We ran from the warmth of a car to a lookout point and back again...cold for a moment...but then back to being thankful for the threads woven together in fabric to keep us warm.

        Threads.

        Easy to take for granted, until a thread begins to unravel or wear out.  Then, as the olde saying goes, we go to buy some "new threads."  How welcome.  How convenient. 

        Threads are important in a whole lot of ways and places.

        Threads are not just made of fabric, however.  There are a variety of threads that have been weaving through both your life and mine...holding our own moments together.

        I'm reminded of a poem by William Stafford (...a favorite poet...) simply titled, "The Way It Is."  When I first read this poem in July of 2011 I thought of a favored "distance mentor," Richard Rohr, who, in his significant, life-giving teaching and writing will often say, "It is what it is...now what are we going to do with what is?" 

        So.......wherever you find yourself on the planet I hope you will be thankful for the multitude of threads that make up your own life (74+113):

The Way It Is...

There's a thread that you follow.  It goes among

things that change.  But it doesn't change.

People wonder about what you are pursuing.

You have to explain about the thread.

But it is hard for others to see.

While you hold it you can't get lost.

Tragedies happen; people get hurt

or die; and you suffer and get old.

Nothing you do can stop time's unfolding.

You don't ever let go of the thread.

...William Stafford

Wednesdays w/ Wes: ...stop the "no listening game!"

          I know.  I know.  I do know.

        Sincerely.......I do know.....................

        And I want to "warn" you maturing Gen Z'ers right now you will be under scrutiny just like your older relatives and friends who have been labeled Gen X'ers, Gen Y'ers and Millennials.  It is too often an intriguing, sad, anxious, some times even vengeful, confusing, intimidating world the rest of us are handing you...in which many of you in your generation are discovering possibilities all over the place.

        Keep it up.

        My deepest apologies...from my perch on the generational scale of our current world.  Thank you (and many of you know exactly who you are...) for trusting an olde man with your own concerns, hopes, fears, dreams, creative possibilities for how you long to live and influence our future world.

        You've told me that you are surprised that a man my age (fast chasing 75...) is even willing to be listening to you.  You've heard me say, most sincerely, that I cherish listening to you expound on your concerns and your hoped for future joys...thank you for believing that I mean that.  I do.

        Thank you, too, for believing me when I say to you that I'm as imperfect a soul with whom you could ever have a conversation.  Thank you for believing me when I say I want to hear all you have to say about life from your vantage point, that I need and want to be learning from you who will be inheriting the future I, and others, are leaving for you.

        People in my Builder/"Greatest" generation, and those following as Boomers, have contributed significantly to what all is taking place across our globe.  But I care-filled-ly encourage those generational groups to learn to listen about 5 times more than we talk.  The younger generations among us have very important questions to ask and thoughts to share.  They are longing to be heard...because they do have important things to say.

        Yes, we "olders," for the most part were schooled to be "tellers."  To point out the rights and wrongs of life.  To give instructions for what needs to be taking place.  To live by the "rule" of do what you are told, and ask questions later.

        To you younger brothers and sisters, I encourage you to neVer stop questioning.  I wish for that with my contemporaries as well.  Long, in my whole-person mentoring, have I held to the view that the "only bad question" anyone has is the question they are not asking.

        Jesus asked a ton of questions, as recorded in the Bible.  Intriguingly, he answered few of them, allowing, in many places, for a difference of opinion.

        If it were not for questions, Columbus would have not sailed the oceans blue.  Nor would Lewis and Clark have discovered the Columbia River, that mighty waterway to the Pacific.  And those bicycling Wright brothers would not have dared to lift off for a few dozen yards and create flying machines.

        I listened recently, again, to President John F. Kennedy giving his exceptional speech to Congress on May 25, 1961 that we would be landing on the moon within a decade from then.  Someone had to be asking questions to eventually get us up there on July 20, 1969...which I witnessed on black and white TV with a bunch of then kids, teens, in Whittier, CA.  Those "kids" are now well into their 50's and 60's.

        Sad is the fact that on November 22, 1963, in Dallas, Kennedy was assassinated.  He did not get to cheer on Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin in their "one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind."  But it was questions that got us up there and back again.

        I will be long gone when you Z'ers, Y'ers, X'ers, Millennials arrive at my age.  Personally being one of those who believes in a "hereafter" called Heaven, when I may just be able to peer back over the edge of that "up place," I so hope I do not find you sitting alone in your commitment to keep asking questions of any kind of any subject...to asking people to listen to you...for as I know you today, I know you will be well worth listening to, engaging......now...and then.

        Way, wAy back in the day when I was much younger I found three Albert Einstein quotes that I took to heart:

Imagination is more important than knowledge.

 

The important thing is not to stop questioning.

Curiosity has its own reason for existing.

 

Anyone who has never made a mistake

has never tried anything new.

 

        Yup, I am getting olde.  Here I am rambling on and on and on.  But I long for all you younger-than-me-souls to know that I enjoy hearing your own rambling thoughts, your concerns, your joys, your possibilities, your commitments to changing our world, now and for the future of your own kids, grand kids and great-grand kids.

 

        You are not as alone as you might think.

 

        There are a few others out there like me who are willing to listen...no matter the topic.  Shocking or sublime.  Question upon questions or newly discovered facts.  Thank you for being gracious enough to read all the way to here...no matter where you find yourself at whatever age you may be wherever you are on the planet.  (74+101)

 

 

The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.
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