Can you please tell me how to get to where I need to go?

 

6 Steps To Your Best Life-Changing Conversations

Step Five:

DIRECTION

        We were lost.  In Ireland.  Not a bad place to be lost, but we were trying to find the ancestral home of some friends to take some pictures for them.  Maps were not working.  We only had a vague description of where from our friends, BUT we knew we were close.

        Stopping to ask directions of a delightful little olde well-wrinkled-with-time Irish lady, who I think was there in the time of St. Patrick, she chatted us up for the longest time on her way to directing us to our destination.  “...go down the road until you come to a tree in the middle of the lane.  Then take the third road to the left, and you’ll find it somewhere down there.”

        OK...........from which tree (there were many) did we count three then go left?

        We still have a good laugh over that moment.  We did make it to the Haggerty homestead and had a special conversation with the relatives who still live on that ancient land.  Then, the trick was to leave there and make Dingle by dark.  We needed direction. 

        Not just with travels, but also with our lives, we need direction.  With the best of intentional, deep-change, whole-life, transformational mentoring, we are invited to stop, look, listen, offer questions of clarification, but not be telling people what to do, or think, or be.

       Thus, in mentoring, in having any meaningful conversation, the direction we are proposing is one of discovery.  Questions (Step Four), carefully offered and observed, will help people know which “tree” and which “lane” to make the turns on in life.

        Some times, in the rush and pressure of life, a developing leader I’m mentoring will ask, “Can’t you just tell me what to do?  I don’t know where to turn.”

        Sure.  I can tell them what to do.

        But I won’t.

        I am not living their life.  They are.

        However, with permission, life-giving, life-changing direction can be offered after you and they have taken the first four of these six steps.  Should this be you in conversation with me, here is what I would be thinking and committing to.  This you are encouraged to do with those with whom you share conversation, intentional mentoring, or not:

        I will help you discover next steps in one or more of the  8 dimensions of the Circle of Life, should our conversation(s) be more than just casual.

        I will help you find and discover good choices on decisions.

        I will offer you a few pros and cons on what you may yet need to discover.

        Recognizing that in a number places I do have limited capacity, I will get you in touch with exceptional people who can take you deeper into meeting you specific needs as these are discovered in our life-changing conversations.

        I will even assure you that no matter which good direction you may take I’ll keep hanging in with you.

        I will creatively cheer you on, even at unexpected times.

        I will wait purposefully with you as you recover from the consequences of any incorrect choices.

        I will listen, willingly, to the profound life-lessons learned from both your successes and your failures.

        I will carefully take on the sacred task of reminding you that relationships are more important than things or accomplishments.

        I will share your delight in what you achieve.

        I will share your sorrows that will come from the losses that will show up in your  life.

        I will applaud, with honest pride, when you accomplish more than you ever dreamed possible.

        Should we take our conversations deeper, thus having the humbling and honored position of        life-mentor, I will celebrate you as you are released to soar into your future and then do the same for others with what you’ve experienced in meaningful mentoring moments with me.

        These are the profound depths, the joy-filled heights, in Step Five of life-changing conversations.  As you may imagine, this adds strong definition to the important desire to be intentional, even in the most casual of conversations that could lead to more.

       We did finally make it to Dingle on that day in Ireland.  It was quite the journey to get there. 

       We learned a lot.

       We got frustrated.  We (mostly me, truth be known) snipped a bit at each other.  We forgave each other for the snips.

        We truly delighted in all that we discovered that day.  We celebrated well that evening at sunset in a pub in Dingle listening to lively Irish music.

        We needed direction on the trip and within ourselves.  That is a picture of our continuing lives.

Step Six is coming within four days.

6 Steps To Your Best Life-Changing Conversations

 

...the bay at sunset at Dingle, Ireland...