Life...to the max!

6 Steps To Your Best Life-Changing Coversations:

6 Steps To Your Best Life-Changing Conversations

        There  are more distractions in our lives than ever in history.  Some people brag about their capacity to multi-task as if they are going to win some sort of prize in a competition.  No such luck!

        When it comes to having an honest conversation with someone, anyone, maybe even yourself, this first step is crucial to having a life-changing conversation.  Don’t overlook it, or you could get maimed in the varying intersections of your life.

The FIRST Step:

STOP

Seriously.  Stop.

        Consider what the dictionary states about STOP.  That’s not possible right now, unless you stop reading this blog post and take the time to go here and ponder this life-giving word:  STOP

       All by itself it’s an odd looking word.  It’s one of the more important four letter words in your life and mine.

                                          S   T   O   P

        It’s made up of three consonants and a vowel that can save your life, add depth to your relationships, enhance your next conversation, and help you catch your breath in your mad dash through your life.  To not stop, in all the right places and experiences in each day of your life, will not get you to where you want and need to be.

        In my privileged work of currently mentoring developing leaders on four continents, some in person, some via Skype, some via phone, the best gift I can offer any of these truly remarkable souls is to choose to STOP what I’m doing and choose to fully focus on the conversation that is about to begin with them.  This I do whether they can see me, or not.

        If you and I are going to have conversations that changes lives.  This first step is crucial.

        I cannot invest in these good people if I am simultanelusly investing my attention somewhere else in texting, twittering, emailing, cruising the web, etc.  Frankly, that goes for conversations beginning with my wonderful wife and daughter, my good friends, my talented co-workers, my courageous clients, even my casual conversations when working out, buying new tires or picking up some groceries.

        Enough said.

        You are a smart, alive, breathing, hope-filled person.  It is time for me to stop.

        I know you get the drift here.  The people in your own life are waiting for you to stop at all the right times and in all the right places.  Therefore it is time for you to practice this first step to your best life-changing conversations.

        Keep track of where you didn’t stop and should have.  Don’t beat yourself up when you realize you blew through a conversational intersection.  It takes time to create a new habit, which experts tell us takes 30 days of diligent practice.

        Celebrate quietly within your own soul when you have been both creative and brave enough to stop.  I trust the fact that you actually do know when you should stop and when you need to keep going.  This first step, however, is the best way to begin, and even conclude your next life-changing conversation.

Step Two--Coming Within Three Days:

6 Steps To Your Best Life-Changing Conversations

Most days I have some "stare time" at the backside of this stop sign.  That's our home here in Colorado where we have our offices above our garage.  Judy's is on the left and mine is on the right.  I observe some people do stop at this intersection.  Some don't.  Those on motorcycles almost never do.  Even when I am in Skyping or phone conversations, this necessary symbol reminds me to stop.  May the stop signs in your own life remind you of the same.

Holy ground? You are probably standing on it.

        Slipped out of bed this Sunday morning before 5am, so as not to wake up my wife.  Opened all the windows in our home to take in the cool morning breeze.  Fixed some coffee.  Went out to sit on our front step until the Sunday Denver Post arrived.  There is much to ponder these days.

        Just sat there watching the colors of this new day fade from dark blue to brilliant orange (who says God isn't a Bronco's fan...).  Took my computer out and punched up on iTunes a way, way, way olde CD of the Century Men's Chorus.

        The last cut on the CD is one titled--Holy Ground, a song written by Bill Gaither, way, way back when in the last century.  The verses were not sung, just the chorus several times through--100+ men's voices and a full orchestra.  Almost heavenly.  :-)

        For some reason the words of the chorus caught my attention in a new way as dawn was breaking here in our neighborhood:

We are standing on holy ground
For I know that there are angels all around
Let us praise Jesus now
For we are standing in His presence on holy ground
 

        I played the song over several times (quietly, so as not to wake up the neighbors).  Sitting there as dawn was breaking, it was a holy moment.

        Almost an hour later I heard the familiar "whack," "whack," "whack" of the person driving down the street to throw out the morning paper on each driveway.  In the early morning stillness, one can hear those whacks a block away.

    Relieving this delivery person, and the neighbors who sleep with their windows open, of one less "whack," I went to the end of our driveway to get handed our paper.  That I've never done before.

        The "whacker" was a lady of Latin origin, possibly mid-40s, who looked surprised to see me waiting there.  Even startled.

        As she handed me our bundle of paper in its thin plastic bag, I said, "May I thank you for your diligence to get the paper out on weekends?  Thank you for your faithfulness in doing that."

        She responded, "I do this seven days a week, and you only get the paper Thursday through Sunday."  True.

        My response, "Wow, that is diligence to be up so early every day.  Again, thank you!"

        I detected some slight tears in her weary eyes when she said, "I do this so my children can have a better education than I ever had.  This job gets me home when they wake up so that I can get them into their day, and then I go do another part time job while they are in school."

        With that she drove on down the street.  Whack, whack, whack, the newspapers kept landing with a practiced precision.

        However, just as I was sitting on the front step to take a look at the headlines, she came back, got out of her car and walked toward me.  "Mister, no one has been up early enough to thank me before.  I needed to tell you thank you for doing that."

        Tears were in her eyes, and mine, as she drove off through the neighborhood.  After several more "whacks" faded into the distance, I sat there with a myriad of thoughts racing through my olde soul.

        Could it be that for a few moments this morning the end of our driveway was holy ground?

        Could it be that as I sit here on the front step putting these thoughts in this computer that this is holy ground?

        Could it be that I need to be more attentive to realizing exactly what holy ground really is as I go through the hours of my days?

        Could it be that the sound I hear ruslting through the leaves on the maple tree in our front yard is the sound of angels wings?

Could be.

 

COMING SOON: 6 Steps To Your Best Life-Changing Conversations

6 Steps To Your Best Life-Changing Conversations

TODAY:  An Introduction

        Come visit us in the summer.  If it’s your first time (or your 37th, or you even live here) we are ready to take you on one of the exceptional “Robert’s Tours of the Rockies.”

        This past week Judy took a welcome call from a friend in Florida with whom we’ve not had connection in several years.  Part of the delight of that conversation for her was him saying that when their family gathers (the kids are now all grown up, married and birthiing kids of their own) they still talk about their visit with us many summers ago.  That’s amazing!

        Over my 70 years I’ve learned, and relearned, times over one never knows the power of a conversation, whether brief and an easy trickle of thoughts shared, or long and intense, or an accumulation of conversations that grow in layers of depth and meaning over time.

        Allow me to give some insight to having your best conversations:

A necessary key to unlocking your good life!

        Of the many deeply moving moments I enjoyed in watching the recent Olympic games taking place in London, for me personally, was the interview Tom Brokaw did with Sir Roger Bannister.  He was the first man to break the 4 minute mile.  On May 6, 1954 at the Iffley Road Track in Oxford, Sir Richard accomplished that in 3.59.4.

        That was the year I turned 12.  In my own life that was a year that shaped me to this current moment, for different reasons, of course.  But now knowing Bannister accomplished what he did adds dimension to 1954

        The Olympic Flame is passed between Sir Roger Bannister and Oxford doctoral student Nicola Byrom on the running track at Iffley Road Stadium in Oxford, England, Tuesday July 10, 2012.  Bannister returned to the site of his greatest sporting achievement, to participate in the Olympic Torch relay as the Olympic flame is carried around the country to the opening ceremony of the 2012 London Olympic Games.

        Brokaw, over these recent years has done a remarkable job of telling the stories of a past generations in both interviews and in his books.  The NBC interview about legacy certainly added to his own journalistic legacy.

        On the 50th anniversary of running the sub-4-minute mile, Bannister was interviewed by the BBC’s sports correspondent Rob Bonnet.  At the conclusion of the interview, Bannister was asked whether he looked back on the sub-4-minute mile as the most important achievement of his life.  Bannister replied to the effect that no, he rather saw his subsequent forty years of practicing as a neurologist and some of the new procedures he introduced as being more significant. His major contribution in academic medicine was in the field of autonomic failure, an area of neurology focusing on illnesses characterized by certain automatic responses of the nervous system (for example, elevated heart rate when standing up) not occurring.

        For a long time now I’ve kept in mind one of Sir Roger’s quotes to inspire me, with the notion we all, no matter our age, need to keep moving in order to maintain our health.  Many of those I mentor will now smile and know some of why I’m always saying, “Get moving!”  Here is a favorite Bannister quote:

        Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must outrun the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning in Africa, a lion wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the slowest gazelle, or it will starve. It doesn't matter whether you're a lion or a gazelle--when the sun comes up, you'd better be running.

        During Brokaw’s interview of Bannister, I was reminded of the above quote when Tom asked him a question about how does running inform us about life.  Dr. Bannister paused for a moment, then looked up and said:

        The art of running is to take out of yourself more than you’ve got....”
 

        Someone else once said something similar...

                                            ...we need to lose our lives to to find it:

        Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If anyone wants to follow in my footsteps he must give up all right to himself, take up his cross and follow me. For the man who wants to save his life will lose it; but the man who loses his life for my sake will find it. For what good is it for a man to gain the whole world at the price of his own soul? What could a man offer to buy back his soul once he had lost it?  J.B. Phillips New Testament--Matthew 16:24-26..

        For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it  New International Version--Matthew 16:25

        For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it  New King James Version--Matthew 16:25

        Then Jesus went to work on his disciples. "Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in the driver's seat; I am. Don't run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I'll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What kind of deal is it to get everything you want but lose yourself? What could you ever trade your soul for?  The Message--Matthew 16:24-26

How does this “losing” and “finding”

function as a key to unlocking your own life?

That's the long shadow of me on a recent early morning checking my running/walking time at the track at Chaparel High School here in Parker.  Getting moving in the early morning unlocks my day.  Getting moving unlocks my life in ever more important ways as the "stuff of life" continues to show up.  Getting moving helps me to lose my life.  Getting moving helps me daily unlock and find my life.  The inviting solitude of each new dawn renews the promise to be fully alive.  No matter what.

What is that kid doing?

        Dashing off for a workout at Fitness19 here in Parker this afternoon, I dashed out of the neighborhood.  Close by, at the intersection of Main Street and Motsenbacher, there was this crazy kid dancing on the corner with one of those spinning arrow signs...but he wasn't selling anything.  So on my way home, he was still doing his antics with even more determination.

        On the way to work out I did not have the time to read what his big arrow said.  This time, at the stop light I had the opportunity to observe his message.  Whoa!  You gotta be kidding me.  So I turned the corner, parked my car and went back to him, twirling his arrow sign like he was auditioning for American's Got Talent.

        Hi.  My name's Wes Roberts.  What's yours?

        Collin.

        Just curious, since I live close by, what's up for you being here today with your sign?

        The world's not a real happy place right now.  So I made this sign to make people smile.  Maybe they haven't been told they are loved today.  I'm a kid.  I'm in school.  Can't do much.  But I work for a company that makes these spinner signs and they taught me how to flip them.  So...here I am, trying to help the world be happy for a moment.

        Let me see what you can do close up.  (Away he flew, in fine style!)  Collin, keep this up.  You are one good man!

        That helped make my day.  And by the number of honks, hollers and waves from passing motorists, for the moment he lifted the spirits of many others.  This young dude is on brave kid.  Go Collin...........!!!

So what audacious something(s) will you dare to do tomorrow, and the next day, and into next week, to bring a smile and some love to someone?

 

Whoa! How times have changed.......!!!

            When this olde man was just a lad, living in a rural community in western Oregon, and the school year was getting underway, the big deal, way back then in the dark ages of the last century, was whether we had enough yellow pencils to do the work we were going to be expected to do...with good erasers.  Seems I erased more than I wrote, trying to get "it" right...according to my teachers.  :-)

            Today, our neighbor, Sean, has stepped into his high school career...first day...no yellow pencils insight.  But, he's got his smartphone, and his iPad (I think...), and his excitement over his first day of high school at Valor.

        His dad, mom and he are the finest of neighbors anyone could ask for.  It's been a delight to watch Sean grow from an infant to an active boy to the makings of one fine man.  It is developing young men and women, like Sean, who give me deep hope for the future.

            Got a text from his Mom a few minutes ago, in response to a text I had sent her asking how she was "surviving" taking him to his first day of high school...having also watched her survive elementary and middle schools.  lol  What she texted back encouraged this olde soul.

        Lining the three entrances to Valor this morning were the upperclassmen cheering on and welcoming the freshmen.  If that's not the essesence of "total cool!" for the first day of high school...then I'm not sure what is.  She said Sean was excited.

            Well...yah!  Me too.  What a way to step into the future.

            As I get into this day, that leaves me with a question for both of us.  You.  Me.  You may just want to pass this along.  Better yet...just do it.  I sincerely hope this is a better than average day for you...and for each person you personally encounter.

Who do you need to be cheering on in this day?

Just do it.  :-)  As creatively as you can.

It will be good for both of you...........!

.......I hope you get the point.

...real loss vs "a loss".......:

        Ever often thought about and/or prayed for someone you don't even know...nor is there any likelyhood of every meeting them?  That has taken up a bit of my mind time on this Saturday...and especially as this quiet day concludes.

        The week past, for me, for us, was like a rollercoaster in downs and ups and speed.  Mid-afternoon, yesterday, we headed for the hills to do dinner with some friends who were finishing a family vacation up in Summit County.  We were glad to "get out of Dodge," if even just for the evening.

        If you've ever driven I-70, westbound, from Denver, you know that you go through the Continental Divide via the Eisenhower Tunnel and sail on down to Dillion, Silverthorne, Frisco, Breckenridge, etc.  We were due at our friend's at 5:30pm and were fairly proud of the fact that we were on time.

        Until...........

...indeed:

...needed this laugh for this day! lol

            In the midst of a Skype mentoring moment this morning, the brilliant, young, developing leader I've the privilege of mentoring twice a month needed to take a restroom break.  Evidently too much early moring coffee.

            So...when he returned to his office and our conversation, he was laughing...partial evidence of his vibrant, lively staff in their remarkable humanitarian work with orphans in Asia.

            Not given to passing around all the political thoughts, cartoons, absurbities of the season, I did like laugh at this .  Someone has attached a post-it-note to the new hot air hand drier in their men's room.  Think about it...for a moment...you'll get it.  lol  Thus...this:

            Wes:  Many, many thanks for another Skype call full of wisdom and leading thoughts!  Here's the classic post-it note picture.  Have a great rest of your day!

...the note reads:  ...a recorded message from Washington

 

...unique "depression" this evening!

7:51pm

Monday...13 Aug '12

Extra proud of Team US of A.......!!!

Especially Missy Franklin...Colorado ultra swimmer!

            Eighteen months from now in Russia for the Winter Olympics.  Four years from now in Brazil for the XXXI Olmpics.  Those "Rio-folks" have a task to make it better than our friends, the Brits, did in London...or those China folks four years ago.  Loved the moments.  Now back to real life...whatever "real" means.  :-)

            My good friend, Curtis Fletcher, wrote this on his blog post today.  Curtis is easily one of our favorite souls on this planet.  He wrote some of what I was thinking/feeling today as I realized that tonight...this night...no Olympic coverage.  But.......

...this olde man will survive!

Somehow.

:-)