Way, way back when...as in 1992...one of the finer books with regard to mentoring showed up on the scene. Paul Stanley and Robert Clinton had, out of their vast and deep experience, written Connecting.
It was a refreshing and informative read. It remains one of the classics on the subject of mentoring inviting us to think better, differently, deeper about this vital topic. What these good men have written is congruent with their lives...they have and do walk their talk.
...however.......!
When I first read their encouraging and instructive words...I panicked just a bit. These men had not been on my radar...I had barely heard of them...but their book brought me to want to meet them (...which still has not happened to this day...but hopefully some day...).
On page 162 of their good book, they did give me a name for a mentoring model I'd been using since my youth pastor days, way back in the wild and adventuresome 60s and 70s of the last century. I called olde friends, both peers and students I'd mentored, just to make certain that what I'd been using/teaching/proposing was not plagiarized some how , but was a relatively new thought to us all back then.
(...plagiarism has happened to me, and it doesn't feel real good...so definitely did not want to be doing that to these men...but...I/we also need to realize that ideas get planted, from only our God knows where, like tiny seeds that grow...and some times one does not know where those seed thoughts come from. When our thoughts do align with others, let's acknowledge that, and be thankful that others have led the way...or at the very least confirm what we've also been pondering. Frankly, I welcomed having a name to put to this part of the mentoring model...though what I suggest and what they've suggested has some valued differences. Thank you, times over, Stanley and Clinton...indeed, deep thanks for all you've encouraged with regard to mentoring!!!)
...Constellation Model of Mentoring...
I spent time with my first cup of jave this morning drawing out what you see here. I'm not suggesting neither you, nor I, are the center of any universe. However, the big black dot in the center represents yours truly...and you, too, should you also choose do this exercise. I this do toward the end of every year (...which I will also be suggesting this week to at least two of the men I mentor...).
To get a more thorough explanation we would need to have some time together, the two of us...or...you would be more than welcome to come to a mentoring workshop I will be doing several times next year here in Colorado, and elsewhere. So for now...grab your own big piece of paper...some colored pens...and put yourself in the center of a big circle.
Pri...is for Primary Mentor(s):
These are the major, major mentors of your life time. In both times of need and growth, they are the ones who have had the deepest impact on who you are today. Most of us will have only a few here...and that is OK.
M...is for those individuals you may be intentionally mentoring, fairly often, to those you interact with from time to time, whether in person or via Skype or cell:
For this olde man, this is most humbling...as I put down the initials of some of those (...not all...) with whom I've a current, active mentoring relationship of some sort. What an amazing listing of men and women who live on four continents. "Sacred Privilege" doesn't even come close to defining what I feel way deep down in my soul as we walk into the future together...whether we talk weekly...monthly...or a couple of times a year.
DM...is for "Distance Mentor", for those who have influenced you and me via books, film, other media, events, etc., but we most likely won't meet them in our lifetimes, especially if they've already passed through "the thin veil":
It was a great exercise earlier this morning, to walk around our home (...from which I office...) to look at the vast array of authors who have influenced me...some very much alive...some long gone. I even took a brief cruise through our CDs and DVDs and was thankful for what all has been given over the years.
Maybe we sometimes do not have a current, intentional mentor (Pri...which we all still need...no matter our age...), but, if we allow it, we can all easily be "mentored" by these who have been used deeply in our lives...still very much alive, or deceased.
What an amazing range of people I welcome in my own life. I'm curious about who will be added in the days to come as distance mentors. That may even be you. :-)
PM...is for those peers in your life, up close and personal, or those who may live even at a distance...but...they are accessable to you...you can share a cup of coffee or a meal or a hike or Skype moments or a phone call...they are there for you when a crisis hits...or an unexpected joy shows up...Peer Mentors:
Some of my peer mentors are "go to" people for varying needs and issues in life. Others are from friendships forged over the decades of life. Some I haven't talked with in a long while. Still others I saw last week...and will be in touch with them this week. Their availability and strengths and giftings mentor me.
These are truly amazing souls in my life. Many of them know they can also count on me. From time to time my own availability, strengths and giftings mentor them. Uniquely, all age groups are represented all the way around this Constellation Model of Mentoring.
You are encouraged to take some time and fill out your own constellation, using what I've done as a model. Spend 2-3 times fleshing this out. Encourage those you mentor to do the same.
When you've the time, pay attention to what you've gleaned from each person you write down.
What is it about those specific individuals who have impacted you for the good?
What has been the most significant influence on your life of each of those people?
Those we mentor we can glean from...what have you learned from them?
In what ways will this constellation model help you encourage those you mentor?
..."see" you next Monday...
© Three3rdsMedia 201...in association with LeadershipDesignGroup
My mentor and Papa, Wes
Thanks for this post. You have challenged me to rethink how I mentor others. I have read "Connecting" many times and I have gone through your training several times, but your drawing has revitalized and widened my perspective in a new diamension. I am looking forward to meeting with you this week for yet another full doze of learning...It's a blessing having you as a mentor...Jacob
Posted by: Jacob Kitonsa | December 05, 2011 at 11:52 AM
Wes,
I was wondering if I could send you my chart and get your input? I find yours incredibly interesting and thought you should see the one I have been putting together. Give your guidance and sage wisdom :)
Thanks
Tony
Posted by: Anthony Ortiz | December 05, 2011 at 02:17 PM