Mentoring Mondays...#34:

The Question:

Is there a "right way" to mentor?

The Answer?  Yes.......!

        Sunday evening my wife (of almost 45 years now...PBTG!) and I went to see The Way with Martin Sheen.  Truth be known, tears were rimming these olde eyes often as this powerful story was absorbed into my slightly weary soul.

 

Refresher...from past Mentoring Mondays:

        The best of mentoring always begins with listening.  The best of mentoring always is intentional...leading to deep-change, whole-life transformation.  If this is not the ultimate outcome between mentoree and mentor, then the best of mentoring has not yet been accomplished.

That outcome is possible.

        Reading back over all the Mentoring Mondays (1-33), staying tuned going forward will be taking you on a journey like few others...as you co-create and walk your own way into the future...and then journey with others into their own futures by following these steps (with more to come...):

        You may certainly advise, even teach out of your own brilliance, your accumulated smarts and education.  However the best of mentoring often comes from your own experience on this journey called life.  That you will see in the movie, The Way.

        Mentors who do all the talking, who come across as if they have life wired, figured out, are only pontificating from a one-up/one-down platform.  If mentors are not daily living Step One in their own lives they are not mentoring at their best.

Step One:  Be intentional (...first, with your own life)

        Part of what makes me some times "people weary" is experiencing others posing that they are doing fine...no probs, at all...life is excellent, all good...nary a downside to their existence...perfect...their look of disdain, let alone their tone says, "...so don't ask me any more questions that might cause me to glimpse below the surface of my life.  OK?  OK!  So what's wrong with you, Wes, that life is not totally perfect for you?"

        You know, some times life is good.  This last week was a very good one (more on that in another post to come this week because last week was way better than average).  This man, fast chasing 70yo, definitely has been blessed in more ways in all the 8 dimensions of my own life than any one human would ever need to be blessed.  For each blessing, large or small, I am most thankful...eternally grateful.

        However...2011 has also been one of the hardest years of my life because I have dared to often take Step Two.  Both unexpected joy and undesired sadness have shown up because of doing so...creating an intriguing continum for these months of my life.

        Dare I say it has been ordered of the Triune?  Yes...I am all the more confident of that.  All that has taken place has been necessary for the continuing formation of the man our God has designed me to be.

Step Two:  Dare to risk and change!

        Somewhere out there one of you budding saints is saying to yourself, "But life is too hard.  If I dare to change any more I feel like I'll break.  I'm so weary and tired.  Too much has taken place.  I'm done.  I won't take any more risks to discover the "more" of me our God may have in mind.  If this is his doing...forget it."

        That's your choice.  Part of amazing grace.  God will wait.  I know that first hand.  As the seasons of my life change (even when I some times do not want them to...), this I have learned:

God is fully present in both Steps One and Two...fully!

The Holy Three can be trusted to keep their collective God-word.

I/we* will never, ever leave you or forsake you.

You may not believe that, within your current circumstances.  That's alright.  We keep our word to you and all others...past, future and present...always.

        Before I share with you Step Three next Monday, gently check in with yourself in the next seven days concerning how intentional you are in living your own life...not someone else's life.......yours.  Also take some time, 2-3 times in this week to ponder where you need to taking some more risks, accepting the holy dare to change.

This picture, taken just after sunset, is a tree across the street from us here in Parker, CO...doing what it's designed to do...change...whether it wants to, or not.......that's life.  We need to pay careful attention to the seasons of our own lives as we take the necessary life-giving steps that will allow us to embrace the future.  Then...let's be about helping and encouraging others to do the same.

*...for those of the Christian faith, realizing full well other vibrant souls out there are of other faiths...in talking about the Holy Three (as did ancient followers of the Christ), there came to be recognized that God is Creator/Father...Jesus, the Christ, Son/Saviour/Redeemer/Friend/Brother...Holy Spirit, God within...not three gods...but one, in three...inviting us all to be fully alive...whole in all the dimensions of our lives...living moment by moment in the Holy Presense.  Good news for yesterday...for tomorrow...and yet, still, for today!

© Three3rdsMedia 2011...in association with LeadershipDesignGroup

Comments

[Duane Miller]

Thanks, Wes. I needed to read this today.

[Mikebeatsfb]

A good word. I am implementing these both, particularly #2...and there IS a cost to it!

[Pablo]

So true...let us always remember that God doesn't love good people He loves REAL ones....and as for risk well I guess I am learning in my own walk that the biggest risk is not taking one. Thanks Wes for continuing to pour into our lives. Pablo

[Sharon Heron]

Hi Wes

Great stuff as usual! Just thought I'd mention that the Northern Irish actor (James Nesbitt) in The Way comes from my neck of the woods and his cousin goes to my church - small world eh?

[Jacob]

"You may certainly advise, even teach out of your own brilliance, your accumulated smarts and education. However the best of mentoring often comes from your own experience on this journey called life."
I agree with this statement 100%. I think life experience is the best "mentor" that we all have in our midst. So, the question is, how are you integrating your life experience into your mentoring journey?

[Dell McDonald]

Hi Wes
Thank you for the encouragement. Looking back I see that I am still taking risks. New things and new people keep appearing in my life. They all present new challenges. They are new heights to climb and peer over to see what God has on the other side. By the way I am in my 80's and life is more exciting every day.
Dell