Mentoring Mondays...#27:

 

Macabre
 

            A rather unique word...macabre...to put into a blog post about mentoring...especially when our topic in this current series of blog posts is about being a ‘primary mentor.’  None-the-less, this past week, through a unique combination of discoveries and circumstances this thought has been chasing me...as a primary mentor to a number of exceptional, talented, creative, deep-hearted, brilliant, amazing souls around the globe...from 10 to 57 years old.

            If ever...whenever (more correctly here)...you cease to exist...OR...your mentoring moments come to some form of conclusion with a valued mentoree...what would you want your last words to be that they would remember?  What might the last words be that you would enjoy hearing from these valued humans you've impacted?

            Mentoring well, as stated previously, always begins with intentional and focused listening to the mentoree...and hopefully being listened to...whether verbally...or in writing.  However, in our fast-paced, tweet, twitter and texting world, it’s often easy to miscue on what is truly being said via writing without engagement with the whole person...all 5 senses engaged fully.

            However, there are necessary exceptions...important ones...often found in pictures and writing and conversations...like I did this past week.  One friend I’ve talked about before died in an avalanche in February of ’03.  Doing a massive cleansing of my files from years past (the last hurrah of this project that’s been taking place for weeks now) I found Ken’s last email to me before he died doing what he loved most...being outside...anywhere...any time.

 

            I must have read the copy of that email a half dozen times last week...remembering...and cherishing his words as he recounted our most unlikely friendship ( seriously!) and what he was looking forward to growing deeper in a stellar and invited mentorship.  Powerful...his last words...even to this moment in time as I stood in my office clutching the ice pick he was holding when the avalanche overtook him...and swept him through the "thin veil".

            Then, we also had a close friend here over Friday night.  For a few minutes, this special woman in our lives and I recounted some of when we first got acquainted in grad school when her first husband and I met and became fast friends (via the shoes he was wearing at orientation...of which one is bronzed and in my book case...but then, that's a whole other story).  In some extra important ways we were mutual mentors during those days.  He died of a brain tumor four years after our graduation...a blow to us all.

            In our God’s great grace she remarried a really good man (in fact we two got to introduce those two, and I had the privilege of performing their wedding 31 years ago this month).  They have two young adult kids, and one son-in-law, and we are all still good friends (even did Cowboys and Aliens {talk about last words} and dinner with them yesterday afternoon).

            However, when our friend arrived Friday afternoon (her man was gone on a business trip), for some brief moments we talked about “back then” and final words...spoken this time...cherished forever.  Her first hubby, in almost the last words he whisperd to me as he was beginning to slip through the “thin veil” of eternity was, “Wes...promise me you will always give flowers to the living and not the dead.  Promise me...please...do that for Judy.”

            Thus, rare is the day when you would not enter our home and not find a living flower of some sort in a vase somewhere.  During the summer they come, fresh cut, from our patio flower garden.  The rest of the year, the Safeway flower lady likes to see me coming.  :-)

            We need not fixate on last words in some worisome state of mind.  That would be foolish and untrusting of living life to the max.  But...it behooves us to be alert to how we part company with others...from those closest...to those more casual encounters...and as we are concerned here...with those we’ve the sacred privilege of mentoring.

            I often think of Jesus’ last known recorded words to those present way back then...and to the rest of us now and beyond:  I will never leave you nor forsake you...even to the end of time.  Personally, I take great comfort in those words...for, I believe, he is the one who can keep them totally.  But...I also do long to have life-giving final words to be remembered by...that are honest...full of hope...encouraging others to be all they were designed to be.

What about you?

What are the words/communication you will leave behind this week with those you mentor...or...anyone else in your life you care about in some measure?

...and even all the rest of your days?

 

PS...if you have the time...read and listen to my previous blog post...'tis well worth it...concerning listening...from two excellent TED.com talks...

...from Wes Roberts...

© Three3rdsMedia 2011...in association with LeadershipDesignGroup

Comments

[Cathy Turner]

Thank you... a blessing for my week.

[Don Payne]

An encouraging post, Wes. Thanks

[Gail Groeninnk]

Thanks, Wes.

[Dell McDonald]

Thank you Wes.
Too often I thiink my last words are rather casual and not meaningful to the hearer or myself. Thank you for encouraging me to make them intentionally helpful.

[Carolyn DePalatis]

Thanks, Wes. Very thought-provoking. Appreciate you!