How do you let people into your space?
Modeling mentoring, not just “doing” mentoring is a crucial component to any mentoring encounter. Again, let me emphasize that the best of mentoring keeps continually in mind...
intentional
deep change
whole-life
transformational
mentoring
...whether that is a brief conversation or several hours together...meeting with a steady time frame (weekly, every other week, etc.)...a three day outing...via Skype or in person...how do you let people into your space? This grid of intentional, deep-change, whole-life, transformational mentoring is crucial to the best of mentoring one can be about. Uniquely...carefully...those with whom you spend time will get that.......in time.
Now...back to the question that begins this post: How do you let people into your space? How do you even define your space? Is it physical space? Healthy? Emotional? Spiritual? Intellectual? Friendly? Relational? Financial? Educational? Creative, Innovative, Designful, Playful? Releasing? Believable? Serious? Fun? Full of integrity? What else do you think needs to define...your space?
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Last week I met with a young leader, who, after the birth of their first child will be moving clear across the country to begin leading some deep and involved work in an urban setting. He shared his story. I shared mine.
He asked for more time in my space before he and his precious wife and soon-to-be-born son head east. I will welcome him there, even in the limited time we have. I look forward to being in his.
Without that mutual invitation into each other’s space, mentoring, can seem mechanical, a bit like trying to swim up a waterfall, dutiful...not free and flowing in the right directions...whether long term...or short. The best of mentoring...no matter the time frame...involves awareness of what one is doing with their space...and a genuine invitation into that space...your space...and theirs.
I cracked up with some spontaneous laughter last Thursday evening with regard to this exceptionally vibrant developing young leader. We met earlier that afternoon. By the time I’d returned home from a meeting in downtown Denver he had posted on his Facebook page a response to our being in each other’s space...our first meeting together.
Warmly stated...amusingly so...and a bit over the top...at least he let me know his expectations. Whew...! I’m still laughing on this Monday.......
Great time today with Wes Roberts. He's an incredible guy. Some kind of Jason Bourne/Dallas Willard combo.
...so even that bit of engaging playfulness makes me both curious, and hopeful, for the next time we are in each other’s space in June...after the birth of their son.
In that welcome moment...in that space we will share, I plan, even now, to be fully present with all of who and what our Triune God is making of me. But, with a sense of fun and curiosity, I do wonder what a combo of Jason Bourne and Dallas Willard would be like (...for I have the deepest of respect for Dr. Willard and count him as a 'distance mentor'...more on distance mentors next Monday...).
What...and who...do you perceive God is making of you?
© Three3rdsMedia 2011...in association with LeadershipDesignGroup
Wes,
I sincerely spend my days working on your closing question. I am feeling new passions that drive and inspire me, but I am not sure where they are trying to take me yet. I am excited to see what our Lord has truly built me for and what he wants me to do. But I am also frustrated at times for not understanding it yet. I know for me, I need to sit still more to see what he has in mind.
Posted by: Norm | May 23, 2011 at 07:24 AM
He is the Potter and I am the clay,
He is the Good Shepherd and I am the lamb,
He is the Great Teacher and I am the student,
He is my Father and I am his son,
He is my Friend and I am his friend,
He is my Guide and I am his follower,
He is the King and I am the servant,
He is LORD and I am the bondslave,
He is the Wonderful Counselor and I am the needy one,
He is my Creator and I am his creature,
He is The Beloved and I am his beloved,
He is God and I am His most treasured one,
He is The Great Physician and I am the wounded one,
He is Righteousness and I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus...
Posted by: Steve Voyen | May 23, 2011 at 09:43 AM